{"id":102431,"date":"2022-08-13T02:54:01","date_gmt":"2022-08-13T02:54:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/?p=102431"},"modified":"2022-08-12T19:41:54","modified_gmt":"2022-08-12T19:41:54","slug":"szabo-t-anna-alomvers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/?p=102431","title":{"rendered":"Szab\u00f3 T. Anna: \u00c1lomvers"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n<p>\u00c9jf\u00e9lkor ott tal\u00e1ltam \u00c9v\u00e1t<br>a klinik\u00e1k sor\u00e1n;<br>s\u00e1rk\u00e1ny\u00f6l\u0151 Szentgy\u00f6rgy ter\u00e9n \u00e1t<br>\u00fcgetett szapor\u00e1n.<br>S l\u00e1tv\u00e1n fonnyadt, zil\u00e1lt alakj\u00e1t,<br>sz\u00edven\u00fct\u00f6tt a n\u0151i sors:<br>csupa k\u00e9s, csupa k\u00e9s,<br>csupa v\u00e9r s szenved\u00e9s \u2013<!--more--><br>Hozz\u00e1osontam s kipr\u00f3b\u00e1lt bar\u00e1t<br>m\u00f3dj\u00e1n fogtam meg derek\u00e1t:<br>\u2013 \u00c9va, \u00c9va, elv\u00e1gtatnak az \u00e9vek!<br>M\u00e1r harmincas v\u00e9nek vagyunk!<br>maholnap f\u00e9lretesznek, kicser\u00e9lnek,<br>s a f\u00f6ld\u00f6n m\u00e9g semmi nyomunk!<br>\u00c1mb\u00e1r \u00e9n a nevem \u2013 di\u00e1k-szerencse \u2013<br>felfirk\u00e1ltam a Koll\u00e9gium fal\u00e1ra,<br>hogy l\u00e9temet az id\u0151nek jelentse<br>s m\u00e9g a j\u00f6v\u0151 sz\u00e1zad is ott tal\u00e1lja;<br>de maga gondoskodott-e idejekor\u00e1n<br>hasonl\u00f3-fok\u00fa \u00f6n\u00f6r\u00f6k\u00edt\u00e9sr\u0151l \u2013?<br>\u2013 Nekem, k\u00e9t k\u00f6lyk\u00f6m van csup\u00e1n!<br>(\u2013 Persze, persze: \u201ea f\u00e9rfi \u00edr, a n\u0151 sz\u00fcl\u201d \u2013<br>id\u00e9ztem Rilk\u00e9t k\u00f6vetkeztet\u00e9s\u00fcl,<br>\u2013 \u00e1lmomban az \u00f6l-t \u00edr-r\u00e1 v\u00e1ltoztat\u00e1m!)<br>Ek\u00f6zben megrohant egy kamasz-eml\u00e9k,<br>t\u00e1n egy rejtett androgyn mot\u00edvum,<br>amikoris a n\u0151v\u00e9-v\u00e1l\u00e1s v\u00e1gya<br>\u00farhodott el a szenved\u0151 fi\u00fan,<br>aki voltam: v\u00e1gyak le-letepertek,<br>b\u0171n\u00f6snek mondott gerjedelmek<br>l\u00e1togattak naponta \u2013 f\u0151leg lefekv\u00e9s ut\u00e1n.<br>\u00c9va akkor ott labd\u00e1zott a kertben<br>vagy a Koll\u00e9gium udvar\u00e1n,<br>sud\u00e1rtest\u0171, fic\u00e1nkol\u00f3 le\u00e1ny,<br>ki a kamaszod\u00e1st v\u00edgan kiheverte <br>\u00c9rette ny\u00fajtotta meg \u00e9let\u00e9t a v\u00e9n \u0151sz,<br>\u00e9rette rohant id\u0151napel\u0151tt a v\u00e1rosba a tavasz,<br>s\u00e1padt di\u00e1kok heged\u0171je neki zengett,<br>szilenciumi s\u00f3hajt\u00e1sok neki \u00fczentek.<br>S ki voltam \u00e9n? zavart, szennyes kamasz,<br>vel\u0151mben a hal\u00e1l sava kerengett.<br>Csud\u00e1ltam keble titkos halmait,<br>k\u00edv\u00e1ntam repdes\u0151 haj\u00e1t, illatos l\u00e1ny-ruh\u00e1j\u00e1t,<br>irigys\u00e9ggel kutattam \u00e1lmait<br>s szinte vall\u00e1sosan v\u00e1gytam a Tisztas\u00e1g\u00e1t.<br>Rajtam \u00e9gett a kor kamaszi piszka,<br>gerincemet nyilall\u00e1sok k\u00ednozt\u00e1k;<br>\u0150 teljes volt, \u00e9rett s angyali tiszta,<br>a boldog \u00e9let hull\u00e1mai most\u00e1k\u2026<br>Zsongott az eml\u00e9k, s \u00e9pp azon t\u0171n\u0151dtem,<br>hogy mint is mondhatn\u00e1m el Neki a<br>dolgot \u2013 amikor \u0151 megsz\u00f3lalt \u00f6sszet\u00f6rten:<br>\u2013 K\u00f6nny\u0171 mag\u00e1nak, \u00farfika!<br>Maga csak j\u00f6n-megy s \u00edrk\u00e1l hatra-vakra,<br>finom pap\u00edrra vagy kopott falakra \u2013<br>mag\u00e1nak a vil\u00e1g \u00c1rk\u00e1dia!<br>\u00c9n n\u0151 vagyok, nyomtalan p\u00e1ria.<br>\u00d3, hogy szerettem volna f\u00e9rfi lenni!<br>S\u00f6t\u00e9t \u00e9jjel egyed\u00fcl j\u00f6nni-menni,<br>idegen v\u00e1rosokban k\u00f3borolni,<br>dolgokr\u00f3l f\u00e9rfi-m\u00f3dra sz\u00f3lni,<br>a muland\u00f3s\u00e1ggal kitolni \u2013<br>egysz\u00f3val olyan, mint maga!<br>Mert jaj, a n\u0151k sorsa neh\u00e9z,<br>csupa k\u00e9s, csupa k\u00e9s,<br>csupa v\u00e9r s szenved\u00e9s!\u2026<br>Szem\u00e9ben b\u00fcntet\u0151 vill\u00e1ml\u00e1s,<br>csupa irigys\u00e9g, szemreh\u00e1ny\u00e1s.<br>\u00d6lel\u00e9semb\u0151l ridegen kil\u00e9pett,<br>egy vaskapun bement, h\u00e1tra se n\u00e9zett,<br>s azt\u00e1n m\u00e1r nem is hallottam m\u00e1st,<br>csak egy rettenetes sikolt\u00e1st.&#8221;<br><em>J\u00e9kely Zolt\u00e1n: \u00c9va \u00e9s \u00c1d\u00e1m 1944<\/em><br><br><strong>K\u00fcl\u00f6nleges \u00e1lomvers t\u0151le, a g\u00e9pemre mentettem ki j\u00f3val kor\u00e1bban, \u00edrni akartam r\u00f3la, most csak ideteszem, m\u00e1r csak az andog\u00fcn-r\u00e9sz miatt is, We\u00f6resre \u00e9s Szab\u00f3 L\u0151rincre gondolok, az \u0151 verg\u0151d\u00e9seikre az egyetlen kiszabott testben&#8230; Izgalmas t\u00e9ma (\u00e9s min\u00e9l ink\u00e1bb tiltj\u00e1k, ann\u00e1l ink\u00e1bb az lesz&#8230;)<\/strong><\/p>\r\n<p><br><br><em>Forr\u00e1s: Szab\u00f3 T. Anna FB-oldala<\/em><\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00c9jf\u00e9lkor ott tal\u00e1ltam \u00c9v\u00e1ta klinik\u00e1k sor\u00e1n;s\u00e1rk\u00e1ny\u00f6l\u0151 Szentgy\u00f6rgy ter\u00e9n \u00e1t\u00fcgetett szapor\u00e1n.S l\u00e1tv\u00e1n fonnyadt, zil\u00e1lt alakj\u00e1t,sz\u00edven\u00fct\u00f6tt a n\u0151i sors:csupa k\u00e9s, csupa k\u00e9s,csupa v\u00e9r s szenved\u00e9s \u2013<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-102431","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bongeszde","category-nincs-kategorizalva"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/102431","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=102431"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/102431\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=102431"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=102431"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=102431"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}