{"id":83740,"date":"2019-06-03T02:59:38","date_gmt":"2019-06-03T02:59:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/?p=83740"},"modified":"2019-06-01T14:03:14","modified_gmt":"2019-06-01T14:03:14","slug":"ezust-hid-srebrni-most-mihaela-sumic-verse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/?p=83740","title":{"rendered":"Ez\u00fcst h\u00edd-Srebrni most: Mihaela \u0160umi\u0107 verse"},"content":{"rendered":"

Feh\u00e9r Ill\u00e9s m\u0171ford\u00edt\u00e1saib\u00f3l<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Feln\u0151tt\u00e9 v\u00e1l\u00e1s \u2013 Odrastanje<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u00c9ltem,
\nA h\u00e9t n\u00e9h\u00e1ny napj\u00e1n,
\nVal\u00f3ban, t\u00e9nylegesen, tapinthat\u00f3an \u00e9ltem,
\nSeb voltam, melyb\u0151l f\u00e9ktelen\u00fcl \u00e1radt, z\u00fadult
\nAz \u00e9let.
\nMinden nap
\n\u00c9lt,
\nUjjaim k\u00f6z\u00f6tt \u00e9s felett
\nMegig\u00e9zve \u00e9lt,
\nFogaim \u00e9l\u00e9n annyira \u00e9lt,
\nHogy m\u00e9g \u00e9l\u00fcket elhagyva is
\nAnnak a zabol\u00e1tlan \u00e9letnek az \u00edz\u00e9t \u00e9rezte,
\nMelyet azokban a napokban, mikor lehetett, megpr\u00f3b\u00e1ltam megragadni.
\n\u00c9ltem,
\nH\u00e1t \u00edgy, id\u0151nk\u00e9nt,
\nAz \u00e1gyban, a k\u00e1v\u00e9h\u00e1zban, a konyh\u00e1ban, a k\u00e1dban,
\nMikor Er\u00e9ndirak\u00e9nt* \u00f6regany\u00e1m b\u0151r\u00e9r\u0151l a lelektelens\u00e9get h\u00e1moztam,
\nDe akkor \u00f6reganya is, Er\u00e9ndira is lenn\u00e9k,
\nA vil\u00e1g meg kegyetlen pusztas\u00e1g
\n\u00c9s az \u00e9let a v\u00edz tompa \u00fct\u00e9sei alatt
\nV\u00e9rszomjas szeret\u0151v\u00e9 v\u00e1lna,
\nAki \u00f6szt\u00f6neit testemem \u00e9ln\u00e9 ki.
\n\u00c9lt,
\nmerengve, lelkesen, berzenkedve \u00e9lt
\nA parton, a sek\u00e9lyben, a reggeli k\u00e1ve \u00e9s az \u00e9jf\u00e9li k\u00f6sz\u00f6nt\u0151 mellett,
\nBek\u00f6t\u00f6tt szemmel is az \u00fatveszt\u0151n kereszt\u00fclment volna, annyira \u00e9lt,
\nAnnyira \u00e9lt, hogy testr\u00e9szeit
\nK\u00e9pes lenne alkalmi h\u0171t\u0151zacsk\u00f3kban \u00f6reg hajl\u00e1ktalanoknak osztogatni,
\nOly keservesen \u00e9s szem\u00e9rmetlen\u00fcl \u00e9lt
\nKer\u00e9knyomokat nem \u00e9rintve, z\u00f6kken\u0151mentesen, val\u00f3s hal\u00e1lker\u00e9k n\u00e9lk\u00fcl.
\n\u00c9ltem
\nVisszaid\u00e9zve hangj\u00e1t
\n\u00c9s azt, ahogy az \u00e9let \u00e9rtelm\u00e9t \u00e1lland\u00f3an kutatta,
\nAhogy ikonoknak \u00e9s szobroknak a n\u00e9lk\u00fcl tett fogadalmat,
\nHogy tudta volna, mit jelentenek, h\u00e1ny \u00e9letet k\u00f6veteltek.
\nElv\u00e9tve oly hisz\u00e9kenyen \u00e9lek
\nMintha \u0151 m\u00e9g mindig itt lenne
\n\u00c9s \u00f6sszekulcsolt kezekkel sz\u00f3l\u00edtom.
\nElv\u00e9tve oly szabadon \u00e9lek,
\nHogy a vil\u00e1got az \u0151 szem\u00e9vel n\u00e9zem
\n\u00c9s a t\u00fck\u00f6rben \u00f6nmagam el\u0151tt csal\u00f3dottam keresem a v\u00e1laszokat.
\nMi t\u00f6rt\u00e9nt vele?
\nMi t\u00f6rt\u00e9nt velem?<\/p>\n

* Gabriel Garc\u00eda M\u00e1rquez: Hihetetlen \u00e9s szomor\u00fa t\u00f6rt\u00e9net az \u00e1rtatlan Er\u00e9ndir\u00e1r\u00f3l \u00e9s lelketlen nagyanyj\u00e1r\u00f3l<\/p>\n

\n

Bila sam \u017eiva<\/em>
\nPar dana u tjednu,<\/em>
\nZaista, istinski, opipljivo \u017eiva,<\/em>
\nRana iz koje neobuzdano plju\u0161ti \u017eivot,<\/em>
\nKipi.<\/em>
\nBila je \u017eiva<\/em>
\nSvaki dan,<\/em>
\nZalu\u0111eno \u017eiva pod mojim prstima<\/em>
\nI iznad njih,<\/em>
\nNa rubovima mojih zuba je bila toliko \u017eiva<\/em>
\nDa bih i nakon \u0161to napusti njihovu o\u0161trinu<\/em>
\nOsje\u0107ala okus tog bjesomu\u010dnog \u017eivota<\/em>
\nKoji sam poku\u0161avala uhvatiti onim danima kad je to bilo mogu\u0107e.<\/em>
\nBila sam \u017eiva,<\/em>
\nEto tako, povremeno,<\/em>
\nU krevetu, u gostionici, u kuhinji, u kadi,<\/em>
\nKad sam poput Er\u00e9ndire lju\u0161tila bezdu\u0161nost sa babine ko\u017ee,<\/em>
\nAli tad bih bila i baba i Er\u00e9ndira<\/em>
\nI svijet bi bio okrutna pustinja<\/em>
\nI \u017eivot bi se pod tupim udarcima vode<\/em>
\nPretvarao u redove krvolo\u010dnih ljubavnika<\/em>
\nKoji bi se i\u017eivljavali na mom tijelu.<\/em>
\nBila je \u017eiva,<\/em>
\nUstreptalo, zaneseno, odbojno \u017eiva<\/em>
\nNa obali, u pli\u0107aku, u jutarnjoj kavi i pono\u0107noj zdravici,<\/em>
\nToliko \u017eiva da je mogla pro\u0107i kroz labirint s povezom na o\u010dima,<\/em>
\nToliko \u017eiva da je mogla dijelove sebe<\/em>
\nOstavljati starim besku\u0107nicima u improvizirane kasice na hladnom plo\u010dniku,<\/em>
\nTako mu\u010dno i bestidno \u017eiva<\/em>
\nBez dodira kolote\u010dine, bez kamena spoticanja, bez mrtvih to\u010daka stvarnosti.<\/em>
\nBila sam \u017eiva<\/em>
\nPrisje\u0107aju\u0107i se njenog glasa<\/em>
\nI neprestanog ispitivanja smisla \u017eivota,<\/em>
\nZavjetovanja ikonama i kipovima<\/em>
\nZa koje nije znala \u0161to zna\u010de i koliko ih je \u017eivota platilo.<\/em>
\nPonekad bih bila tako naivno \u017eiva<\/em>
\nKao da je ona jo\u0161 uvijek tu<\/em>
\nI sklopila bih ruke prizivaju\u0107i je.<\/em>
\nPonekad bih bila tako slobodno \u017eiva<\/em>
\nDa sam na svijet gledala njenim o\u010dima<\/em>
\nI pred svojim likom u ogledalu razo\u010darano tra\u017eila odgovore.<\/em>
\n\u0160to joj se desilo?<\/em>
\n\u0160to mi se desilo?<\/em><\/p>\n

Ford\u00edtotta: Feh\u00e9r Ill\u00e9s<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mihaela \u0160umi\u0107 Banja Luka 31. mart1998.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Forr\u00e1s: Ez\u00fcst h\u00edd-Srebrni most<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Feh\u00e9r Ill\u00e9s m\u0171ford\u00edt\u00e1saib\u00f3l Feln\u0151tt\u00e9 v\u00e1l\u00e1s \u2013 Odrastanje \u00c9ltem, A h\u00e9t n\u00e9h\u00e1ny napj\u00e1n, Val\u00f3ban, t\u00e9nylegesen, tapinthat\u00f3an \u00e9ltem, Seb voltam, melyb\u0151l f\u00e9ktelen\u00fcl \u00e1radt, z\u00fadult Az \u00e9let.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-83740","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-vers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/83740","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=83740"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/83740\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=83740"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=83740"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ujkafe.website\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=83740"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}